Proverbs 18:20-21 (KJV)
A man’s belly shall be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth; and with the increase of his lips shall he be filled.  Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
Do you remember the childhood saying we use to say way back when? It was called “Sticks and Stones.” Someone would say something hurtful about us and we would respond by saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” Well we all know now how foolish this saying really was because words do hurt us. In fact we know that words from the one that we love can sting longer than any physical wound.
It is our responsibility to guard our mouths and to protect it from saying anything that does not honor God or give life to our partner. We know that God is love so our words should bear the fruit of one that is loved by God. Our words must be covered in humility, love, patience, and understanding. We must try our best to refrain from speaking to our lovers when we are upset or hostile. When we are overburdened with the cares of life we can sometimes get off course by using our spouses as emotional punching bags. We can begin to unleash unkind words on our spouses in hopes for them to finally get what we’re saying. When in actuality we are slowly killing them slowly.
Life and death is in the power of your tongue. Use your mouth wisely. Choose to give life to your spouse by speaking words of encouragement that might be edifying to his or her soul. What does God’s word say about this topic?
“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”( Ephesians 4:29)
This may be harder for some couples especially if you have spent a lifetime or a season speaking harshly to your mate. However, it’s never too late to position your marriage for happiness. God is a forgiving God and He will honor your attempts toward change.
Steps towards healing:
1. Pray to God for help in controlling your thoughts and your mouth.
2. Be committed to building your spouse emotionally.
3. Make a commitment to bite your tongue before allowing anything negative to leave your mouth in regards to your spouse.
4. Replace your negative thoughts of your spouse with positive ones. Think back to why you married this person.
5. Make a list of all your spouse positive qualities and hide it. Use this list daily to guide your speech.
Remember the enemy is waiting for every opportunity to destroy your good thing. Don’t allow him to have your marriage. Be willing daily to put in the work that is needed to build a happy and healthy relationship. Marriage is good!