Archive | February 2012

Build Your House on the Rock!

Matthew 7:24-29
“Whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.

And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.

And it came to pass, when Jesus had ended these sayings, the people were astonished at his doctrine:  For he taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes.”

Is your house built on solid ground or will it pass away as soon as the wind blows? Our marriages should be built upon the rock of Jesus Christ. He gives us everything that we need to be a success in marriage. Keeping your covenant to your spouse may be challenging from time to time, however God’s word is your weapon in the midst of a storm. He is truly our refuge and strength! (Psalms 46:1)

The foolish man did not build his house on firm foundation. He didn’t seek assistance…. He likely wanted to do things his own way. We resemble the foolish man in marriage when we are resistant to allow the word of God to guide us in our daily living.  We can also look very much like this same foolish man when we refuse to seek counsel when things go wrong in our relationships. The man that does not adhere to the word of God will always stubble and fall because he is not grounded in the things that develop “sustaining power.” Sustaining power comes by way of our prayer and praise. Make every effort to pray daily with your spouse and praise God for sustaining your marriage another day, another month, and another year!

We cannot expect to be successful in our marriages without allowing God to build our house. We cannot be successful if we do not submit to His plans. Instead, we end up “falling a great fall” like the house of the foolish man.

Make the decision today to rebuild your house on the rock! Jesus is our rock!!!!!  His grace is sufficient for us; and his strength is made perfect in weakness. (2 Cor. 12:8) Give up your building rights today and turn them over to him so that you can be like the wise man. When the storms come we need to be fully equipped to stand on God’s word.

We will be able to weather the storm if we are applying biblical truths in our marriages on a daily basis. May God bless and honor your efforts towards keeping your covenant.

Cassandra

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Lights, Camera, Action!

If you ever want to know the truth about yourself asks your spouse.  They know the in’s and out’s about you better than anybody other than God himself. They know what bugs you, what makes you smile, and even what gets your creative mind going. They get to see the good and the bad more than anyone else in your circle of friends and family.

Outside the home people get to see the person that we want them to see. Sometime this is the person that we portray because it feels more comfortable than just being ourselves. They see the person who has everything well thought out and all together.  However, often times when we leave work, church, and fellowships we Christians can sometimes put on a different face with a whole new character.

Home is where our true ministry begins…. It starts with our spouses and flows to our children. Our first and foremost calling is to reflect the love of God in our own homes.  How can we be effective to anyone else if we are not taking care of our first priorities?

Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. (1 Tim.5:8)

Why is it that we often have a harder time forgiving our spouses or our children then we have forgiving someone outside of our household? We feel a greater sense of obligation to the world than we do to our families when we treat strangers better than we do our own flesh and blood.

God will judge our love walk in its entirety!!!  Be doers of the word inside and outside of your home. The love walk that you preform outside of the home should be carried over from the love that is reflected at home.  We have to stop taking an “intermission” when we arrive home to the ones we have been given to love and honor.  Have you ever thought about how your spouse or children feel when they see the love of God in you when you speak to people at church or in the mall, but at home they see a different side?

Do not be like the double-minded man that is spoken of in James 1:8! Your leading role begins at home. Let your light shine from sun up to sun down.

I am joining you in this endeavor towards perfecting our marriages and families.

Cassandra McMichael

Husbands Love Your Wives

1 Peter 3:7 states: In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

The Bible says in Ephesians 5:25-26: Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.

I’m not trying to be explicit but I need you to think for a minute about the human anatomy. Who was built to receive and who was built to give? God designed us this way for a reason because he makes no errors. God knows submitting ourselves to another fleshly person is difficult and that’s why he asks of us to submit ourselves to him first so we can in turn learn to be totally submissive to our spouses.

God is asking men to love your wife so much that you will give yourself up. We as men were design to give and called to be spiritual head of the house according to the Lord. We should not allow our wives to be praying more than us which we see often. She should not be giving of herself freely more than us which is often the case.

God’s word says a husband’s prayers can be hindered based upon how we’re treating our wife. We are now one flesh therefore we must treat our wives as such. The word says our bodies are temples for Christ so when we treat our wives inappropriately we’re hurting ourselves first and foremost. We can’t come to Christ expecting our prayers to be answered until we first ask for forgiveness with the issue we’re having with our wife.

We all fall victim to not doing the things we use to do for our spouses before marriage. Remember the flowers, cards and presents you would give? Why not do something nice for her today? My wife has given me 3 children that means she has been pregnant for 27 months of her life. Shouldn’t I honor her for what her body has put her through? Husbands the courtship must continue in the marriage for it to be successful.

The weaker vessel should not have the heaviest load in a marriage because they are not strong enough to handle it! The word calls for the husband to be the spiritual leader of the house and we can fight the attacks on our marriage by trusting God and applying his word. A good wife will be your partner and pray with you and for the family.

We must pray to God and ask him to assist us in becoming better husbands. We have to become more observant of our wives and notice their weakest areas and assist them at all costs.

In sports it’s the coach who is first to be judged based on the success of the team. If the team is winning he is rewarded and keeps his job. A husband will be judged on the order of his house by God because he’s called to lead his family. Although Eve ate of the fruit first sin did not enter the world until Adam ate of the fruit. Men become a rock for your family.

Be Blessed,

Joseph

Your thoughts will determine your future!

What are your thoughts about your marriage? Do you believe your relationship will last forever, or are you expecting a bitter end in the near future?

If you know someone that has been divorced ask them this question…. “When did you know that your marriage wasn’t going to last?” Many people that have been divorced before will tell you that they knew early on that they would not remain in that union for the rest of their lives. This might be stocking to some of you that are doing marriage God’s way. However, when we don’t do marriage His way we are always expecting the unexpected to happen because we don’t give God an opportunity to work in ourselves or our spouses.  Some of us have very little faith that He can truly transform our marriages from hell on earth to heaven on earth.

The word tells us in Proverbs 23:7 that “so as a man thinketh so will he be…”  This means that our thoughts can lead to words and our words can lead to our truth.  What is your “truth “about your marriage? Do you believe that the enemies’ attempts to destroy your marriage will prevail, or do you know without a doubt that you can do all things through Christ that strengthens you? (Philippians  4:13)

Joseph and I were returning from a marriage function this weekend called “Eat, laugh, and Love.”  I happened to look up just as we were passing this rather large billboard that read, “1-800- DIVORCE.”   My spirit screamed,” I rebuke Divorce in Jesus Name!”  The enemy is lurking everywhere seeking to destroy what is good!  It is essential in marriage to cast down all thoughts and imaginations that do not line up with the word of God.(  2 Cor. 10:5) Christians must be equipped for the fight by studying the word of God and having a sufficient amount of word that they can speak over themselves and their mates in the time of trouble. If you know and believe that there is an enemy waiting to attack you then you must arm yourself with the necessary weapons to avoid being overtaken by surprise!

Start speaking the word over your marriage today! Your positive words will transform your truth to line up with God’s truth. God’s truth says,” That if you abide in Him he will abide in you!  (1 John 4:13) God’s truth says, “All things work for the good of those that love him. (Romans 8:28)

Surrender your negative thoughts for positive thoughts. You will be glad that you did! God is our Jehovah  Jireh!!! He truly seeks pleasure in providing you with all good and perfect gifts. Receive the gift of a Godly marriage!

We can perfect our marriages together by changing how we think!

Stay encouraged,

Cassandra

Healing From Past Hurts

I gazed out the window…. It was dark and not a person in sight. Joseph and I had just had one of our first “heated conversations” while on our way home from Christmas dinner with family. By the end of the conversation, I was left feeling deeply confused….I recall asking myself,” What is really going on here?”

Joseph and I had only been married about 9 months at the time.  It didn’t take long for me to realize following that night’s events that Joseph was paying the price for someone else’s sins.
If you read,” Help me… I’m living in Hell”, then you are well aware that I was holding on to some anger from a previous relationship. While it was eye opening to see how the devil had used my past to haunt my future I was not strong enough to “fight the good fight of faith.” I wanted very deeply to put on my whole amour of God so that I could stand up to the tricks of the devil as it says in Ephesians 6:11. However, no matter how hard I tried in and of myself I needed help and we know that “help cometh from the Lord!”

Joseph was a praying man so I know that he could see with his spiritual eyes what the enemy was trying to do in our marriage. Instead of being angry at me, he took his petitions to the Lord.  When your spouse’s past haunts their future you must remember what it states in Ephesians 6:12.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Our question for today is,” How do you heal your spouse from past hurts?”

Let me first begin with what you don’t do…. You don’t make matters worse by surrendering to the enemies’ camp. You don’t fall in line with the enemies tricks and seek to destroy your spouse with harsh words and emotional and physical attacks!
Instead you walk in love and do what is encouraged in the Bible you STAND ready for spiritual warfare.

Ephesians 6:13-18 reads:

13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; 18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints;
Joseph put on his amour daily… In fact I think he slept in it many of nights!  The Holy Spirit has given us authority in every area of our lives.  We can take authority over every spirit that tries to put up roadblocks in our marriages. We can stand against every thought that tries to hold our spouses hostage to the past!

I am so thankful that Joseph showed me his true colors early in our marriage. He didn’t give up on me. He didn’t stoop to my level. He didn’t attack me. He helped to heal me from my past by simply being the answer for my future.  He worked hard at loving me the right way so that my past could truly become my past.  Your spouse can be healed with your help! Stand up to the “spirit of the past” and do marriage God’s way. We promise that in the end you will reap the benefits of God’s best when he transforms your mate.

Cassandra

How Do You Teach a Dog New Tricks?

Have you ever heard the proverb, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks?” This basically leads one to believe that you can’t change who people are.   We know that this is partially true…. You can’t change someone, but with the help of God people can and do change.

It is common for us to develop bad habits in life especially within our marital relationships. Many of us bring baggage from pass relationships with our parents, friends, and even opposite sex relationships. Often times, we are unaware that we have so many hang ups and it takes getting married for everything to start falling out of our “emotional bags.”

When dealing with a spouse that is resistant to change one must first of all stay in prayer. Staying in prayer requires that you must make a commitment to communicate with God on a daily basis. It is nearly impossible to see change if you are not first seeking the kingdom of God. (Matt: 6:33)

When believers begin to seek God about others the Holy Spirit will more than likely direct you back to yourself. We must make sure that we are first and foremost doers of the word. (James 1:22) This means that we must be making every effort to treat our spouses with the love, kindness, and respect that we expect to get in return. If you read, “Help Me…. I’m Living in Hell” then you already know that I was very much resistant to change. I wanted to remain angry because of the people that hurt me in the past. There was no way I was going to allow myself to be hurt again so I did what most people do…. I built a wall around myself to protect myself from being hurt.

While I was building walls one brick at a time, Joseph was being obedient to God and continued to love me as Christ loved the church. I remember waking up to him laying hands on me and praying over me. I remember him praying in the spirit while ironing his clothes for work, and hearing him say, “Lord I love my wife today more than I did the day I married her.” Now that’s love!!!

How do you deal with a spouse that is resistant to change? You pray, and pray and pray some more! Joseph saw me for the beautiful woman I would become once I was healed from past hurts. He led by example. He didn’t wait until I changed to give me his best….  He gave me his best and then I changed!!

If your spouse is resistant to change their ways, or if they are determined to build a wall we urge you to pray for them daily.  We encourage you to see your mate through new eyes and love them today like they are the person you’ve always dreamed of.

People can and do change… You can help facilitate change in your spouse by putting on the love of God and allowing your life to be a reflection of Christ.

Be encouraged,

Cassandra

Help Me…..I’m Living in Hell!

Recently I had a friend say, “It is easy for you to give me advice your husband is not like my husband.”  I must admit I was taking aback by this comment. However, it’s not the first time I’ve heard that same sentiment just posed a different way.

Let me tell you that things were not always easy for Joseph. He had to deal with a whole heap of mess when we first got married. I was deeply hurt by a previous relationship that left me angry, defensive, and untrusting.

I came into the marriage with quite a bit of baggage. However, Joseph unpacked my bag piece by piece and day by day. Thinking back to the beginning I can now see how he was so intentional in his love and care for me.

Joseph understood that as my husband that he had to “nurse me back to health.”  He realized that if he was to ever have the marriage that he dreamed that it would take much prayer and planning on his part. I have to imagine that I was much like a project on his to do list.:-)

Dealing with a difficult spouse is never easy. However, if you are committed to living together until death do you part— Why not be happy? We are called to minister to our spouses through unconditional love.

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. (1 John 4:10)

God loves us unconditionally!!!! He loves us just the way we are. We are to love our spouses in whatever state they are… Loving them just the way they are doesn’t mean that we don’t desire change, but we must honor God’s command to “Love.” We have to work dilgently on healing our spouses with the help of our Almighty God!!

Over the next couples of days, we will discuss:

  • How do you deal with a spouse that is resistant to change?
  • How do you heal your spouse from past hurts?

Until tomorrow…. Remember Jehovah Rapha still heals.

Cassandra