Communication in marriage is a key factor in your level of satisfaction with your marriage. Most people who are married will admit that if you don’t feel like your spouse understands you then you end up feeling alone, and or isolated. It makes things even worst if you have a spouse that refuses to talk through life’s challenges. Most of us seem to marry our opposite. This means that one of you loves to talk and the other can probably do without hashing out all the details of every situation.
In a marriage there is absolutely no way around communicating with your spouse. In order to work it out… you have to talk it out. It is imperative to practice communicating effectively with your spouse if you want your interactions to be positive. The most important step in communicating effectively with your spouse is knowing the best time to talk about certain subjects. For instance, allow your spouse to cool down from a busy day at work or from time with the kids. It is also fruitful to discuss matters when you have had time to think about the issues at hand before approaching your spouse. This will help you both in discussing the issues without having to worry about your emotions getting the best of you.
Communication is a two way process. Someone has to talk while the other one listens! It is usually easiest for all us to do the talking. 🙂 Practice listening to your spouse before commenting. Proverbs 18:2,13 sheds some light on the error of our ways when we are more concerned with being heard then listening.
2 “A fool has no delight in understanding, but in expressing his own heart.”
13 “He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.”
Keys to improving communication with your spouse:
- Have prayer before discussing difficult matters. Ask God to open your heart and mind.
- Allow the person with the issue to speak first.
- Practice listening before speaking. Don’t interrupt!
- Repeat what you think your spouse is saying and give them a chance to affirm that what you heard was what they were trying to communicate.
- Take turns speaking.
- Come to an agreement and seal the deal with a kiss!
Love your spouse enough to listen. Stay tuned for part 2 “What are your actions communicating to your spouse?”