Archive by Author | Cassandra McMichael

Reaping and Sowing

“For whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” ( Gal 6:7) Someone asked me recently,”Does this apply to marriage?” Of course it does!!! God’s word is applicable to every situation in our lives. There are absolutely no areas off limits.

Marriage and family relationships leave much room for sowing and reaping. These are the grounds for which you spend most of your time being true to who you “really are.” A friend of mines once said to me,” My spouse treats our neighbors better than he treats me.” This can be the case in marriages where there has been a breakdown of communication or trust for one reason or the other. However, our Christian goals should be to align our walks with the law of reaping and sowing. If you don’t like what you’re getting out of your spouse then you should try putting in something different.

What are you sowing into your marriage these days? If you are sowing impatience, sarcasm, and indifference then you will most certainly reap from the seed you have sown. We can not  expect to reap the rewards from that which we are unwilling to sow. The bible tells us in Proverbs 11:18 that seeds sown in righteousness will have a sure reward.

I have an exercise that I would like everyone to try today. Write down all the things you would like to see manifested in your marriage. Once you finish making your list join me over the next 30 days as we practice sowing these very things into our spouse and families.
I can’t wait to hear your testimonies of how God worked on your behalf.  Remember that which is planted will eventually take root.

Cassandra

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Don’t let your conscience be your guide!

Are you allowing your conscience to be the guiding force in your marital decisions? If so, you are bound to make plenty of mistakes that might impede your success.

God’s word should be our only devise used in decision-making.  All scripture is given by God to correct and instruct those of us who are in the household of faith. (2tim. 3:16-17) Man’s conscience alone can not guide us because it can be too easily persuaded that good is evil and evil is good. Our conscience will allow us to justify wrong doing based on our experiences, environments, and even due to the people who are in our immediate circle of support. How many times have you made a quick judgement based on  your spouse’s mood or position on a matter?

Well let’s be honest here…… Man wants his own way, however God’s way is always the better way. If my husband is always moved by my feelings or moods enough to make decisions based on them alone then he is merely allowing his conscience and his emotions to guide him. Even from the beginning it is written that Eve was deceived by the serpent thus leading Adam to be drawn into sin along side her.  It is too easy to be drawn into sin based on selfishness, or even being  overly accommodating to the point that you go away from  God’s standards for living. In today’s society we can not be guided by our conscience instead we must gravitate towards the word of God for direction. Your conscience will lie to you because it is grounded in what makes sense in the natural. If we want our marriages to truly be successful then we must rely solely on His word as the final authority in all matters.

There is a way that seems right to a man but in the end it leads to death. (Proverbs 14:12 NLT)

Be Blessed,
Cassandra

Does your marriage need maintenance ?

Why is it that we all understand the concept of getting an oil change or a tune-up in order to keep our cars running properly, however if you mention counseling or a marriage workshop people act as if its foreign and unspeakable?

Marriages need maintenance from time to time just like anything else. (Especially if you plan to stay married for a lifetime. ) Over the course of a marriage a lot of things can change. People change. Opinions change. Desires change. Even your situation can change. Taking care of your marriage is just as important as taking care of your car, your health, or your finances. It is vital that we make our marriage covenant a priority by doing the work that helps the marriage to grow.

Here are a few marriage maintenance activities that you and your spouse can do to give your marriage a winning chance of survival.

1.  Pray for your marriage.
2.  Attend a marriage workshop.
3.  Seek and maintain a couple that can serve as a marriage mentor.
4.  Schedule monthly meetings to discuss your marital issues and come up with plans to resolve concerns.
5.   Seek counseling from your pastor or a trusted counselor.
6.  Participate in your churches marriage ministry activities.
7.  Spend time with  other couples that enjoy marriage.

Marriage maintenance is a necessity for those with great marriages just as much as those with troubled marriages.  Most of us don’t wait until we run out gas to put gas in our vehicles. 🙂 We can apply the same  rule of thumb to our marriages. Don’t wait until a problem arises to seek help. May God‘s blessing be upon you and your family.

Cassandra

Self-righteous Behavior

Are you a bit self- righteous? Self- righteous people can be the most annoying people to be around. They are the ones that think everything they do is right and everything you do is wrong. Even in the midst of their own troubles they find time to insult, humiliate, or judge others around them. These type of people make others very uncomfortable during their interactions and this is therefore often the cause of many broken relationships.

Self-righteousness  people tend to think that their thinking process is superior to everyone else’s. They often use condensing and judgmental comments to prove that their opinions or feelings are more valuable than yours. Self-righteous attitudes can destroy marriages and other relationships faster than other sins because it becomes obvious to others  around you that your thinking leads your decisions.  When the focus of your thinking is “self-righteous” you are only concerned with being right.  You have little ability to see things from other people’s point of view which can be a big turn off to family, friends, and even coworkers.

The bible tells us that the Master will know our character by our fruit.  What fruit is growing on your tree??? Whether it is self-righteousness  or some other sinful behavior it’s time to make a change. God desires for us to grow our relationships by developing in the fruit of the spirits.

If you are exhibiting self-righteous thinking in your marriage or relationships take time to meditate on the scriptures below.

Gal. 5:22-23
Matthew 7:19-21
James 3:18

Love the One You’re With

Marriage has its ups and its downs. However, one thing is for sure…. no matter whether you’re up or down you should always love the one you’re with.

Often times in marriage we lose focus of the “blessings of marriage.”  Marriage should produce the close bonds that we as humans desire to have with one another. It is in our DNA to want to be loved and cared for by an earthly being. God the father loves us so well that it is only natural that we would want to feel that same love from our mates.  The question then becomes ” What do you do when your spouse’s actions do not line up with your expectations?” First of all I can tell you one thing that you don’t do…. and that is you do not give up.

Many of us look at our marriages as “contracts” instead of “covenants.” It is too easy to walk away and give in to difficult times especially when you look at your marriage as a contract that can be terminated at anytime. However, when you look at your marriage as a covenant between you, God, and your spouse then and only then can you filter out the bad and press forward in love.

If your spouse’s actions are not lining up to your expectations begin by asking yourself theses questions.

1. Am I being the best spouse I can be?
2. Am I fulfilling the needs of my spouse?
3. Am I loving my spouse unselfishly or am I holding out on my love until I get what I want or need?
4. Am I communicating my needs effectively to my spouse?
5. Am I still the person that they married? If not, how have I changed?

After you have asked yourself the above questions I urge you to evaluate your expectations for your spouse and make sure that they line up with God’s word and design for marriage.  Change your marriage forever by making a list of ways you can start selflessly showing your spouse  how much you love and appreciate them. May God bless your union and fill you both with an abundance of love for one another.

Cassandra

Increasing your faith!

It is inevitable that you will face some challenges along the way in marriage. Kids disappoint you, careers don’t fulfill all of the financial streams needed to provide for the family, and sometimes sickness attacks your body. Whatever the challenge that threatens the stability of your marriage know that God‘s promises have been thoroughly tested.(Psalm 119:140)

When the storms of life come we must stand firm with our spouse being strong in faith and giving all glory to God. The word of God says, “Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) Hebrews 10:23

We were never promised a life filled with endless happiness. His word informs us that we will indeed have some trials and tribulations while on this earth. How we deal with our personal trials will impact our children and our families.

When faced with a challenge in your marriage never forget the power of two.

“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:19-20 (NIV)

God has created the perfect union in marriage! All it takes is two people on earth to agree about anything and he has said he will do it! Many times we are not activating God’s promises because we go in it alone. When our faith begins to waver about something we have no one to back us up . Married people need to support each in their prayer life just as much as in other areas.

Often times we are overtaken by life’s challenges simply because we fail to exercise our authority. There is so much power in having a partner that is able and willing to pray with you. Praying with your partner helps to increase your faith in God and His promises. The more you do it you will increase your faith and “nothing will be impossible to you.” Matthew 17:20 (NIV)

I am thankful to God for having a husband that is not ashamed to pray with me and for me. Many of God’s promises have come to pass because of his unwavering faith.  My prayer is that you and your partner will come to recognize the “power of two” and use it for life’s everyday challenges. May God be with you always.

Cassandra

Is deception becoming a natural part of marriage?

Lately I’ve heard more and more people admitting to the fact that they lie to their spouse about certain topics…mostly money related like miscellaneous expenses. I can only assume that many of these people have never felt the pain or feelings of betrayal that come along with being lied to or misled by someone you love.

Deception should not be a natural part of marriage. Lying to someone you love for any reason is just wrong. The marital relationship much like the parent child relationship must be built on trust.

“And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. ” (Matthew 19:5-6 )

How can two become one if they are divided by deception? Lying to someone you love will always lead to division. Division for some might mean a relationship that is plagued with resentment and animosity, while others may face the unfortunate consequences of divorce.

It is essential in marriage to have a mutual understanding that is built on respect, trust and committment. Without these three things how can any of us every reach true intimacy in our relationships? Intimacy is not just about sex. Real intimacy is only reached by two people who can have a close relationship without fear of being wronged by the other.

If your marriage is suffering from trust issues work hard to regain the trust that was once there. Those that deal in truth are a delight to the Lord! (Proverbs 12:22)