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Reaping and Sowing

“For whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” ( Gal 6:7) Someone asked me recently,”Does this apply to marriage?” Of course it does!!! God’s word is applicable to every situation in our lives. There are absolutely no areas off limits.

Marriage and family relationships leave much room for sowing and reaping. These are the grounds for which you spend most of your time being true to who you “really are.” A friend of mines once said to me,” My spouse treats our neighbors better than he treats me.” This can be the case in marriages where there has been a breakdown of communication or trust for one reason or the other. However, our Christian goals should be to align our walks with the law of reaping and sowing. If you don’t like what you’re getting out of your spouse then you should try putting in something different.

What are you sowing into your marriage these days? If you are sowing impatience, sarcasm, and indifference then you will most certainly reap from the seed you have sown. We can not  expect to reap the rewards from that which we are unwilling to sow. The bible tells us in Proverbs 11:18 that seeds sown in righteousness will have a sure reward.

I have an exercise that I would like everyone to try today. Write down all the things you would like to see manifested in your marriage. Once you finish making your list join me over the next 30 days as we practice sowing these very things into our spouse and families.
I can’t wait to hear your testimonies of how God worked on your behalf.  Remember that which is planted will eventually take root.

Cassandra

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Don’t let your conscience be your guide!

Are you allowing your conscience to be the guiding force in your marital decisions? If so, you are bound to make plenty of mistakes that might impede your success.

God’s word should be our only devise used in decision-making.  All scripture is given by God to correct and instruct those of us who are in the household of faith. (2tim. 3:16-17) Man’s conscience alone can not guide us because it can be too easily persuaded that good is evil and evil is good. Our conscience will allow us to justify wrong doing based on our experiences, environments, and even due to the people who are in our immediate circle of support. How many times have you made a quick judgement based on  your spouse’s mood or position on a matter?

Well let’s be honest here…… Man wants his own way, however God’s way is always the better way. If my husband is always moved by my feelings or moods enough to make decisions based on them alone then he is merely allowing his conscience and his emotions to guide him. Even from the beginning it is written that Eve was deceived by the serpent thus leading Adam to be drawn into sin along side her.  It is too easy to be drawn into sin based on selfishness, or even being  overly accommodating to the point that you go away from  God’s standards for living. In today’s society we can not be guided by our conscience instead we must gravitate towards the word of God for direction. Your conscience will lie to you because it is grounded in what makes sense in the natural. If we want our marriages to truly be successful then we must rely solely on His word as the final authority in all matters.

There is a way that seems right to a man but in the end it leads to death. (Proverbs 14:12 NLT)

Be Blessed,
Cassandra

Does your marriage need maintenance ?

Why is it that we all understand the concept of getting an oil change or a tune-up in order to keep our cars running properly, however if you mention counseling or a marriage workshop people act as if its foreign and unspeakable?

Marriages need maintenance from time to time just like anything else. (Especially if you plan to stay married for a lifetime. ) Over the course of a marriage a lot of things can change. People change. Opinions change. Desires change. Even your situation can change. Taking care of your marriage is just as important as taking care of your car, your health, or your finances. It is vital that we make our marriage covenant a priority by doing the work that helps the marriage to grow.

Here are a few marriage maintenance activities that you and your spouse can do to give your marriage a winning chance of survival.

1.  Pray for your marriage.
2.  Attend a marriage workshop.
3.  Seek and maintain a couple that can serve as a marriage mentor.
4.  Schedule monthly meetings to discuss your marital issues and come up with plans to resolve concerns.
5.   Seek counseling from your pastor or a trusted counselor.
6.  Participate in your churches marriage ministry activities.
7.  Spend time with  other couples that enjoy marriage.

Marriage maintenance is a necessity for those with great marriages just as much as those with troubled marriages.  Most of us don’t wait until we run out gas to put gas in our vehicles. 🙂 We can apply the same  rule of thumb to our marriages. Don’t wait until a problem arises to seek help. May God‘s blessing be upon you and your family.

Cassandra

Are You Growing together?

As many of you know I am homeschooling my kids and my niece. The last couple of weeks we have been talking about plants. We discussed what plants need in order to grow healthy and the process of how  plants grow. We planted some sunflower seeds in small containers and sat them in our kitchen windowsill.   The kids have all been amazed at how fast they seem to be growing right before our eyes. My oldest daughter said, ” We are taking good care of our plants mommy.” 🙂

Our little science project really got me to thinking of ways in which I can facilitate opportunities to grow in my marriage and family life.  The Holy Spirit reminded me that we must nurture our marriages  just like flowers.  Much like plants our spouses and kids need to receive some very specific things from us in order to grow and to be healthy. If we fail to feed them with the proper nutrients they are very likely to wither and not to grow into the beautiful beings that God has created them to be.

Many marriages and families are growing apart instead of growing together these days. It is our Christian duty to be the light of the world and help bring life to those things that appear dead.   Here are some signs that your family may be growing apart:

  • You don’t take time  to eat meals together
  • Everyone has their own agendas
  • You make your own plans without consulting your spouse
  • You have plenty of individual goals in life, but none that involve  the family collectively

God desires that our marriages and families are fruitful! Here are some ways that you can continue to help your family in growing together:

  • Hold family meetings to discuss plans, goals, and issues
  • Make time to eat and pray together
  • Consult your spouse in making decisions that impact the marriage or family as a whole
  • Engage in activities that bring the family together to laugh, learn, and love

Decide today if your marriage and family is growing together or growing apart. God desires growth for you and your family. Those that be planted in the house of the Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God. They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing; (Psalm 92:13-14)

If you had to choose…………

The path to submission

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.  Genesis 3:16 (KJV)

Following the fall of man God told Eve that her husband would rule over her and that her desires would be for her husband.  This was as a result for Eve’s part in disobeying God’s command not to eat of the tree of knowledge. Today God still requires that husbands rule over their wives and that wives submit to their husband’s leadership. There are many women that hate the word submission. Some  believe that being submissive means that you open the door to being mistreated and misguided by your husband. Others believe that it takes away from their strength as a woman and as an individual. Submission in God’s eye is much different than what we see with our natural eyes.

The woman that submits to her husband shows an understanding of the following principles with her supernatural eyes:

1. Submitting to our husbands shows the world that we have a desire to have a Godly character.

Do not let your adornment be merely outward-arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel-rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. (1 Peter 3:3-4 (NKJV)

2. Submitting to our husbands shows that we trust God.

For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands,(1 Peter 3:5 (NKJV)

We  do not have to protect ourselves. God will provide for our needs! We will not be harmed through submission.

3.  Submitting to our husbands shows them that we respect them. As a result to our submission they will grow into their God-given leadership roles.

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, (1 Peter 3:1 (NKJV)

What is the path to submission?

The path begins with a desire to honor God’s perfect order for marriage. Along this path we must learn to develop a servant spirit. Having the servant spirit will help us to develop the desire to please our husbands at all cost.

Begin the path to submission! God promises that we will inherit a blessing through our obedience to His ways!

Yours in Christ,

Cassandra

What’s in your Alabaster box?

The covenant between men and women requires that you be willing to break open your Alabaster box. An Alabaster box was used in biblical times to carry something of importance to an individual.  In Matthew 26:7-9, Mary broke open her Alabaster box to get to her most valued and treasured item– her expensive perfume. She took her perfume and poured it over Jesus’ head not at all concerned that there was nothing left for herself. This was a selfless act on her part. She gave her all out of love and respect for her Lord and Savior.

In reading this passage we find out that the others that were present were in disbelief because they  felt it was  a waste and surely imagined that it would be worth more for her to sale her perfume  in hopes to make a profit. This story touches me every time I read it. I realize how much it costs to give unselfishly to someone you love. In marriage everything may not always be the way you want it or the way you imagined it. However, if you break open your Alabaster box and give freely of all your resources, hurts, and ambitions  then and only then can you love your spouse in new ways.

What is in your Alabaster box? Are you carrying pain from the past? Do you keep something on the side just in case your marriage doesn’t work out? Are you depriving your spouse of true intimacy with you because of fear of being hurt?

Whatever it is that you have saved in your Alabaster box break it open today.  The breaking of your box will free you. God works best with broken vessels.   Allow God to renew your marriage by releasing your most precious possessions. You will be glad you did.

Cassandra