Tag Archive | Commitment

Beyond the Honeymoon Phase

Most of us got married because we found the one person that we were head over heels in love with. We enjoyed their company, we adored their smile, and we felt as if our life was somehow improved just because of their presence. Many couples will enjoy this “Honeymoon Phase” for years to come or for others it can be short lived.

What do we do when the “Honeymoon Phase is over?”

It is important for couples to realize that marriage is a covenant relationship that can stand the test of time. It is normal for couples to go through periods of time in which they may not “feel” that same closeness that they felt the day they walked down the aisle. Feelings are nothing more than passing emotions. Marriage requires that partners put their emotions aside in order to honor the commitment that they made before God.

Joseph and I realized early in our relationship that it took more than love to build a happy marriage. We came to understand that marriage requires both partners to be committed to the vow. Being committed to the vow means that both parties will refrain from allowing negative thoughts to enter into their minds.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Cor.10:5 NIV)

Negative thoughts can be anything as small as one believing that their spouse no longer appreciates them to something as big as feeling unloved and no longer desired.  It is necessary for couples to recommit themselves to their spouses periodically. A good time to do this is near or on your anniversary.  During this time we suggest that you both share your vulnerabilities about your relationship and then reaffirm your love and commitment to one another.

We encourage you to make time throughout the year to talk through any conflicting thoughts or perceived notions about the status of your relationship. Remember, emotions may change, but recommitting to your marriage vows will help you stay in right relationship with God and each other.

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Husbands Love Your Wives

1 Peter 3:7 states: In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

The Bible says in Ephesians 5:25-26: Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.

I’m not trying to be explicit but I need you to think for a minute about the human anatomy. Who was built to receive and who was built to give? God designed us this way for a reason because he makes no errors. God knows submitting ourselves to another fleshly person is difficult and that’s why he asks of us to submit ourselves to him first so we can in turn learn to be totally submissive to our spouses.

God is asking men to love your wife so much that you will give yourself up. We as men were design to give and called to be spiritual head of the house according to the Lord. We should not allow our wives to be praying more than us which we see often. She should not be giving of herself freely more than us which is often the case.

God’s word says a husband’s prayers can be hindered based upon how we’re treating our wife. We are now one flesh therefore we must treat our wives as such. The word says our bodies are temples for Christ so when we treat our wives inappropriately we’re hurting ourselves first and foremost. We can’t come to Christ expecting our prayers to be answered until we first ask for forgiveness with the issue we’re having with our wife.

We all fall victim to not doing the things we use to do for our spouses before marriage. Remember the flowers, cards and presents you would give? Why not do something nice for her today? My wife has given me 3 children that means she has been pregnant for 27 months of her life. Shouldn’t I honor her for what her body has put her through? Husbands the courtship must continue in the marriage for it to be successful.

The weaker vessel should not have the heaviest load in a marriage because they are not strong enough to handle it! The word calls for the husband to be the spiritual leader of the house and we can fight the attacks on our marriage by trusting God and applying his word. A good wife will be your partner and pray with you and for the family.

We must pray to God and ask him to assist us in becoming better husbands. We have to become more observant of our wives and notice their weakest areas and assist them at all costs.

In sports it’s the coach who is first to be judged based on the success of the team. If the team is winning he is rewarded and keeps his job. A husband will be judged on the order of his house by God because he’s called to lead his family. Although Eve ate of the fruit first sin did not enter the world until Adam ate of the fruit. Men become a rock for your family.

Be Blessed,

Joseph

Is Your Spouse a Dog????

Dogs are very protective of their masters. More than likely if you enter a home that has a dog he will begin to bark if he does not recognize you. Once he sees that you are not a viable threat to his home or family he will usually find himself a place on a rug in clear view of your presence all the while keeping his eyes on you.

Dogs understand that in order to keep their families safe that they must show that they are capable and willing to protect at all cost. This is very similar to a husband and a wife’s relationship. In a marriage there are times when the enemy tries to attack through friends or family. The attack can come by way of an act, gesture, or speech. Regardless of the path it takes couples must be savvy enough to see the attack for what it is and protect their spouse at all cost.

It is of great importance that in our marriages that we make it clear to those coming inside our circle of love that the circle will not and cannot be broken. Therefore couples must put up their united fronts at the door giving notice to outsiders to “beware because there’s a dog on the premises.”

Standing up for your spouse in the midst of an attack will show them that you are committed and that they are valued.  Wives feel secure when they are protected by their man.  Whereas men are likely to feel honored and respected.

Make sure you are doing the work that is required when Satan sends a trespasser to your residence. Never leave your spouse to fend for themself. Find the dog within and mark your territory! (Don’t take that literally 🙂 )

Your friend,

Cassandra