According to Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, we all have a language of love that we respond best to. Gary describes our love language as “a primary way of expressing and interpreting love.” If you’ve never heard of Gary Chapman or his well known book “The Five Love Languages” it is a must read!
The Five Love Languages was transforming for Joseph and I. After reading the book we quickly logged on to Gary’s website to take the Five Love Languages quiz. We both had an ideal of what each other’s love language was after reading the book, but we wanted to be sure! Not to our surprise, we had different love languages. Joseph felt loved by Physical Touch whereas I needed Quality Time and Gifts. In reading the book we discovered that often times we tried to give the other person what we wanted when we instead needed to be giving each other what made them feel loved. Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was an awesome revelation for our marriage.
Still even today we don’t always get it right, but as someone once said, “Knowing is half the battle.”
If you want to learn to speak your spouse’s language, and in turn feel loved because they are speaking your language ………….then you have no choice but to read the book!!!!!! We promise you that it will be life changing for your marriage.
Below you will find the Five Love Languages and what Gary has to say about each one.
Words of Affirmation-Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
Quality Time-In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
Receiving Gifts-Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
Acts of Service-Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
Physical Touch-This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
So are you eager to learn more about the Five Love Languages? If so, you can log on to his website by clicking this link here http://www.5lovelanguages.com/. If you are following my blog from Michigan, I have some great news!!! You can join Joseph and I at “The Marriage You’ve Always Wanted” on April 21, 2012 hosted by Immanuel Lutheran Church. Please visit the website and click on events for information regarding this event.
I leave you with this……… “Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:8) Don’t fail your marriage!!!!! Invest the time to learn to love better, more, and stronger.
To God be the Glory for all He does and continues to do!