Tag Archive | God

Don’t go to bed angry!

When you first got married someone of the Christian faith probably quoted the following scripture:

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.  (Ephesians 4:26-27 NIV)

This scripture happens to be one of the most famous quotes given to those saved and unsaved during marriage celebrations. For those that are not in the household of faith it probably sounds more like this:

“Never go to bed angry.”

This is no doubt one of the best pieces of advice that anyone seeking to stay married forever can receive. Anger is one of the most deadly emotions that anyone can have.  Anger can lead one to make horrible life choices that lead to long-term consequences.  The effects of anger have also been known to cause both physical and psychological illnesses in one’s body.

If you allow anger to fester in your marriage it will block your ability to love as God has commanded.  It is impossible to love your spouse unconditionally and be angry at them at the same time. Love and anger do not mix!!!  Anger seeks revenge and justice, whereas love seeks peace and joy.
Satan would love nothing more than to send you and your spouse to bed angry at one another. When he accomplishes this task he knows that he has gained a place in your marriage that he can use to begin his work.

When anger arises in your marriage make every attempt to make peace before going to bed. Do not allow Satan to begin steps at tearing your marriage apart by pitting you against each other.  We have a favorite line that we like to use when we see Satan trying to get a foothold in our marriage. We start by smiling at the other person and we say, “We’re on the same team.”

Do not let the sun go down when you’re angry! Instead take a time out and devise a plan that allows for a win-win situation. Don’t forget in the midst of your anger, “You both are on the same team too!”

Best wishes,

Cassandra

Are You The Weakest Link?

The Weakest Link (UK game show)

Who does the devil attack most in your marriage you or your spouse? It is often rare in marriages that both partners are at the same place at the same time in their spiritual walks.  Our experiences in marriage can sometimes determine the quality of our relationship with our Heavenly Father which should not be the case. We are to stand firmly on the word of God despite our worldly struggles.

The weakest link in your marriage is the one that the devil feels he can take down with little to no work on his part. He knows that he can easily sidetrack the weak link by messing with his or her health, finances or even their reputation. It takes very little effort to move the weakest link off their mark!

The strongest link is the person that seeks God readily for help in the time of trouble. This person realizes that they must spend time in prayer and must make a habit of seeking God for answers to life’s challenges. Satan realizes that he must step up his game in efforts to distract or move the strongest link of your union off their mark.

If you know that your mate is weak in certain areas you must stand firm and help them to remain grounded in the things of God. Do not allow Satan to attack your spouse! Together you can defeat the enemy’s attacks.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (KJV)
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. [10] For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. [11] Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? [12] And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Stand by your mate.

Cassandra

Are You In Good Standing With Your Spouse?

Have you ever been late on a credit card bill? If you have then you know that once your 1 day past the due date that they will start ringing your phone off the hook.  When they finally catch up with you they will say something like, “Hi. We’re just calling to remind you that you forgot to pay your bill. Can I help you stay in good standing with us by taking a payment over the phone today?” Bill collectors are trained well to keep you in good standing with their companies.

We should make every effort to stay in good standing with our spouses just as we would do with a bill collector. If you promise your spouse that you’re going to do something then you should make every effort to fulfill your promise.

When we don’t meet our agreements or promises in marriage it can cause our mates to become uncertain about our priorities. It can also cause trust issues to surface when your word becomes null and void because you fail to honor your commitments.

We need to be more like God. When He tells you that he is going to do something we are always assured that His promises will come to pass. The Bible tells us that it is impossible for God to lie. (Heb. 6:18; Titus 1:2) If he says he will do it then he will do it! We never have to worry about Him canceling on us at the last moment, or about being disappointed in the way He handles something.

You can help your spouse to remain confident in your relationship by letting your yes be yes and your no be no! (James 5:12) Never make promises to your spouse to do something that you know you don’t want to do or can’t do. Your lack of effort will speak volumes to your spouse when they see that you just can’t seem to get things done on your “honey to do list.”

We all know that sometimes things happen that are totally out of our control, however do not let this be the norm in your marriage.  When issues arise that prevent you from honoring your word take the time to communicate with your mate. Let them know that you really want to keep your promises and discuss any obstacles that you are having towards fulfilling your promise. Communication is the key to bridging the gap between the truth and what your spouse may perceive based on your inactivity towards achieving that desired promise.

Take authority over your life and stay in good standing with your spouse. Being in good standing with your spouse will make Satan‘s attacks a lot easier to defeat quickly and efficiently!

We are joining you in these honorable efforts. To God be the glory for all He is doing in our marriages!
Cassandra

Build Your House on the Rock!

Matthew 7:24-29
“Whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.

And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.

And it came to pass, when Jesus had ended these sayings, the people were astonished at his doctrine:  For he taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes.”

Is your house built on solid ground or will it pass away as soon as the wind blows? Our marriages should be built upon the rock of Jesus Christ. He gives us everything that we need to be a success in marriage. Keeping your covenant to your spouse may be challenging from time to time, however God’s word is your weapon in the midst of a storm. He is truly our refuge and strength! (Psalms 46:1)

The foolish man did not build his house on firm foundation. He didn’t seek assistance…. He likely wanted to do things his own way. We resemble the foolish man in marriage when we are resistant to allow the word of God to guide us in our daily living.  We can also look very much like this same foolish man when we refuse to seek counsel when things go wrong in our relationships. The man that does not adhere to the word of God will always stubble and fall because he is not grounded in the things that develop “sustaining power.” Sustaining power comes by way of our prayer and praise. Make every effort to pray daily with your spouse and praise God for sustaining your marriage another day, another month, and another year!

We cannot expect to be successful in our marriages without allowing God to build our house. We cannot be successful if we do not submit to His plans. Instead, we end up “falling a great fall” like the house of the foolish man.

Make the decision today to rebuild your house on the rock! Jesus is our rock!!!!!  His grace is sufficient for us; and his strength is made perfect in weakness. (2 Cor. 12:8) Give up your building rights today and turn them over to him so that you can be like the wise man. When the storms come we need to be fully equipped to stand on God’s word.

We will be able to weather the storm if we are applying biblical truths in our marriages on a daily basis. May God bless and honor your efforts towards keeping your covenant.

Cassandra

Your thoughts will determine your future!

What are your thoughts about your marriage? Do you believe your relationship will last forever, or are you expecting a bitter end in the near future?

If you know someone that has been divorced ask them this question…. “When did you know that your marriage wasn’t going to last?” Many people that have been divorced before will tell you that they knew early on that they would not remain in that union for the rest of their lives. This might be stocking to some of you that are doing marriage God’s way. However, when we don’t do marriage His way we are always expecting the unexpected to happen because we don’t give God an opportunity to work in ourselves or our spouses.  Some of us have very little faith that He can truly transform our marriages from hell on earth to heaven on earth.

The word tells us in Proverbs 23:7 that “so as a man thinketh so will he be…”  This means that our thoughts can lead to words and our words can lead to our truth.  What is your “truth “about your marriage? Do you believe that the enemies’ attempts to destroy your marriage will prevail, or do you know without a doubt that you can do all things through Christ that strengthens you? (Philippians  4:13)

Joseph and I were returning from a marriage function this weekend called “Eat, laugh, and Love.”  I happened to look up just as we were passing this rather large billboard that read, “1-800- DIVORCE.”   My spirit screamed,” I rebuke Divorce in Jesus Name!”  The enemy is lurking everywhere seeking to destroy what is good!  It is essential in marriage to cast down all thoughts and imaginations that do not line up with the word of God.(  2 Cor. 10:5) Christians must be equipped for the fight by studying the word of God and having a sufficient amount of word that they can speak over themselves and their mates in the time of trouble. If you know and believe that there is an enemy waiting to attack you then you must arm yourself with the necessary weapons to avoid being overtaken by surprise!

Start speaking the word over your marriage today! Your positive words will transform your truth to line up with God’s truth. God’s truth says,” That if you abide in Him he will abide in you!  (1 John 4:13) God’s truth says, “All things work for the good of those that love him. (Romans 8:28)

Surrender your negative thoughts for positive thoughts. You will be glad that you did! God is our Jehovah  Jireh!!! He truly seeks pleasure in providing you with all good and perfect gifts. Receive the gift of a Godly marriage!

We can perfect our marriages together by changing how we think!

Stay encouraged,

Cassandra

Healing From Past Hurts

I gazed out the window…. It was dark and not a person in sight. Joseph and I had just had one of our first “heated conversations” while on our way home from Christmas dinner with family. By the end of the conversation, I was left feeling deeply confused….I recall asking myself,” What is really going on here?”

Joseph and I had only been married about 9 months at the time.  It didn’t take long for me to realize following that night’s events that Joseph was paying the price for someone else’s sins.
If you read,” Help me… I’m living in Hell”, then you are well aware that I was holding on to some anger from a previous relationship. While it was eye opening to see how the devil had used my past to haunt my future I was not strong enough to “fight the good fight of faith.” I wanted very deeply to put on my whole amour of God so that I could stand up to the tricks of the devil as it says in Ephesians 6:11. However, no matter how hard I tried in and of myself I needed help and we know that “help cometh from the Lord!”

Joseph was a praying man so I know that he could see with his spiritual eyes what the enemy was trying to do in our marriage. Instead of being angry at me, he took his petitions to the Lord.  When your spouse’s past haunts their future you must remember what it states in Ephesians 6:12.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Our question for today is,” How do you heal your spouse from past hurts?”

Let me first begin with what you don’t do…. You don’t make matters worse by surrendering to the enemies’ camp. You don’t fall in line with the enemies tricks and seek to destroy your spouse with harsh words and emotional and physical attacks!
Instead you walk in love and do what is encouraged in the Bible you STAND ready for spiritual warfare.

Ephesians 6:13-18 reads:

13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; 18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints;
Joseph put on his amour daily… In fact I think he slept in it many of nights!  The Holy Spirit has given us authority in every area of our lives.  We can take authority over every spirit that tries to put up roadblocks in our marriages. We can stand against every thought that tries to hold our spouses hostage to the past!

I am so thankful that Joseph showed me his true colors early in our marriage. He didn’t give up on me. He didn’t stoop to my level. He didn’t attack me. He helped to heal me from my past by simply being the answer for my future.  He worked hard at loving me the right way so that my past could truly become my past.  Your spouse can be healed with your help! Stand up to the “spirit of the past” and do marriage God’s way. We promise that in the end you will reap the benefits of God’s best when he transforms your mate.

Cassandra

How Do You Teach a Dog New Tricks?

Have you ever heard the proverb, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks?” This basically leads one to believe that you can’t change who people are.   We know that this is partially true…. You can’t change someone, but with the help of God people can and do change.

It is common for us to develop bad habits in life especially within our marital relationships. Many of us bring baggage from pass relationships with our parents, friends, and even opposite sex relationships. Often times, we are unaware that we have so many hang ups and it takes getting married for everything to start falling out of our “emotional bags.”

When dealing with a spouse that is resistant to change one must first of all stay in prayer. Staying in prayer requires that you must make a commitment to communicate with God on a daily basis. It is nearly impossible to see change if you are not first seeking the kingdom of God. (Matt: 6:33)

When believers begin to seek God about others the Holy Spirit will more than likely direct you back to yourself. We must make sure that we are first and foremost doers of the word. (James 1:22) This means that we must be making every effort to treat our spouses with the love, kindness, and respect that we expect to get in return. If you read, “Help Me…. I’m Living in Hell” then you already know that I was very much resistant to change. I wanted to remain angry because of the people that hurt me in the past. There was no way I was going to allow myself to be hurt again so I did what most people do…. I built a wall around myself to protect myself from being hurt.

While I was building walls one brick at a time, Joseph was being obedient to God and continued to love me as Christ loved the church. I remember waking up to him laying hands on me and praying over me. I remember him praying in the spirit while ironing his clothes for work, and hearing him say, “Lord I love my wife today more than I did the day I married her.” Now that’s love!!!

How do you deal with a spouse that is resistant to change? You pray, and pray and pray some more! Joseph saw me for the beautiful woman I would become once I was healed from past hurts. He led by example. He didn’t wait until I changed to give me his best….  He gave me his best and then I changed!!

If your spouse is resistant to change their ways, or if they are determined to build a wall we urge you to pray for them daily.  We encourage you to see your mate through new eyes and love them today like they are the person you’ve always dreamed of.

People can and do change… You can help facilitate change in your spouse by putting on the love of God and allowing your life to be a reflection of Christ.

Be encouraged,

Cassandra