Tag Archive | Relationships

Are you keeping Satan in a defeated condition?

Why does Satan hate marriage so much?

Those that are married were surprised to find out that they had moved up on Satan’s list of people to destroy by any means necessary. Before you were married you were probably further down on the list if you were doing God’s work and trying to live for Christ. However, the day you said “I do” you moved to one of Satan’s Very Important People.

As one of Satan’s Very Important People he studies you daily. He understands you better than anyone else on earth. He knows exactly what it will take to move you off your mark. He has idle time to invent new ways to divide you and your spouse.  Together you and your spouse represent God’s love, beauty, and power.  No one but God could create such a perfect union that is a constant reminder to His great kingdom.

He created marriage to carry on his legacy through generations of families. Satan’s main desire is to prevent you from achieving oneness in your marriage.  What is “Oneness?”

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Gen.2:24)

If you are not cleaving to your spouse for every concern, issue, or circumstance that you encounter than you are not successfully achieving oneness in your marriage. Failure to achieve oneness will constantly keep you in a” roller-coaster state “in your marriage. You will constantly be faced with the same issues time and time again because you have not overcome them as of yet.

God is calling all of us to overcome those issues that prevent us from being one with our spouse. In order to defeat Satan we must plan to defeat him daily by “growing in oneness.”  We are more than conquerors through him that loves us. (Romans 8:37) There is no reason why Satan should be able to overtake our marriages with resentment, infidelity, rejection, or any other sinful condition.

Rise up today and decide to keep Satan at a defeated state in your marriage. No weapon formed against you shall prosper! (Isaiah 54:17)

God’s Blessings,

Cassandra

Advertisements

Angry Christians

A metaphorical visualization of the word Anger.

What are you angry about?

Many married couples are  holding anger inside that is specifically reserved for their mate. Some are angry because their spouse didn’t make the right business decision way back in 2001. Others are angry because their mate refuses to respect their position. A select few are angry because they don’t feel that their mate puts them first while forsaking all others. Let me first say this… Anger is a sin. It causes a great percentage of the incarcerations among adults and youth today. Anger destroys healthy marriages every year and the result is inevitable.

DIVORCE!!!

God desires that we carry ourselves in such a manner that would be pleasing to Him.

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.  Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.  But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do. Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” (James 1:19-26 NIV)

Anger is a dangerous emotion. It causes people to act in ungodly ways. It can cause a division that is hard to repair in marriages and families. God desires that you perfect your walk by being doers of his word. Guard your tongue, body, and thoughts from giving life to tragic circumstances.

It is unlikely that your mate will never again make you angry. However, it is your responsibly to remember God’s word that says, “Be angry but sin not.” (Eph.4:26) When we allow anger to lead us into sin we separate ourselves from God’s protection, thus allowing room for Satan to enter into our presence.

I challenge you to join me in praying for those marriages that you know are drowning in anger. If your marriage is one of them please don’t forget to pray for yourself!  Together we can reverse the curse of anger from gaining a foothold in generations to come.

Blessings, Cassandra

Beyond the Honeymoon Phase

Most of us got married because we found the one person that we were head over heels in love with. We enjoyed their company, we adored their smile, and we felt as if our life was somehow improved just because of their presence. Many couples will enjoy this “Honeymoon Phase” for years to come or for others it can be short lived.

What do we do when the “Honeymoon Phase is over?”

It is important for couples to realize that marriage is a covenant relationship that can stand the test of time. It is normal for couples to go through periods of time in which they may not “feel” that same closeness that they felt the day they walked down the aisle. Feelings are nothing more than passing emotions. Marriage requires that partners put their emotions aside in order to honor the commitment that they made before God.

Joseph and I realized early in our relationship that it took more than love to build a happy marriage. We came to understand that marriage requires both partners to be committed to the vow. Being committed to the vow means that both parties will refrain from allowing negative thoughts to enter into their minds.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Cor.10:5 NIV)

Negative thoughts can be anything as small as one believing that their spouse no longer appreciates them to something as big as feeling unloved and no longer desired.  It is necessary for couples to recommit themselves to their spouses periodically. A good time to do this is near or on your anniversary.  During this time we suggest that you both share your vulnerabilities about your relationship and then reaffirm your love and commitment to one another.

We encourage you to make time throughout the year to talk through any conflicting thoughts or perceived notions about the status of your relationship. Remember, emotions may change, but recommitting to your marriage vows will help you stay in right relationship with God and each other.

Does pride keep you from doing what is right?

1 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

(James 4:1-3 NIV)

Does pride keep you from doing what you know is right? The bible encourages Christians to yield to our own desires and to submit to the will of God. Pride is one factor that keeps couples from willingly submitting to one another as God has commanded.

When we are prideful in marriage it results in us distancing ourselves from our spouse and causes us to be in contempt of their value. Their opinions or feelings no longer matter because we begin to feel superior in our own thinking and being.

Pride is often what leads many marriages into divorce court. In marriage both partners must submit to God. When we are submitted to God he will always work things out for our good. (Romans 8:28) Total submission to God means letting go of the need to be right or the desire to be in control.

Resist the desire to be among those that seek to please themselves more than anyone else. Unlock God’s power in your life by walking in true humility.

Cassandra

It’s Not About You!

For those of you who didn’t know me as a child let me tell you that I was the brattiest of the brats. I thought that the world revolved around me and only me. Mommy spoiled me rotten….   If I had a desire she filled the need. I truly lived the life of a child that wanted for nothing.

Well that’s all good and dandy, but when you grow up and get married you begin to realize it’s really not about you.  ( At least you should come to this realization! 🙂 )  When you marry you are promising to place that person’s needs above your own and to love, honor, and yes even obey!

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. ( 1 Corinthians 13:11 KJV)

There is no room for selfishness in marriage. Marriage requires two mature adults that are both willing to die to their selfish desires in order to please the other. Pleasing the other person involves giving careful consideration to your spouse in everyday situations. Having a selfish attitude is childish and we must work on “putting away childish things!”

Here is a short list of  do’s and don’ts that can help you in your journey to marital bliss:

Don’t

Don’t make life altering decisions without the input of your spouse.

Don’t manipulate  your spouse to have your way.

Don’t make your spouse feel that your needs are greater than their needs.

Do’s

Do consider your spouses needs above your own.

Do consult your spouse on small and big decisions that impact you as a family and  a couple.

Do show that you respect and value your spouses opinion.

Many couples end in divorce due to selfishness and lack of consideration for their partners. Satan thrives on having this type of division in marriage! Do not let him win! Always hold your mate at higher esteem above yourself.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” ( Philippians 2:3-4 NIV)

Jesus was the perfect example of a humble servant that placed the needs of others above his own. Will you die for your spouse today? Those that die to self can truly live a life full of God’s  magnificent blessings!

Husbands Love Your Wives

1 Peter 3:7 states: In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

The Bible says in Ephesians 5:25-26: Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.

I’m not trying to be explicit but I need you to think for a minute about the human anatomy. Who was built to receive and who was built to give? God designed us this way for a reason because he makes no errors. God knows submitting ourselves to another fleshly person is difficult and that’s why he asks of us to submit ourselves to him first so we can in turn learn to be totally submissive to our spouses.

God is asking men to love your wife so much that you will give yourself up. We as men were design to give and called to be spiritual head of the house according to the Lord. We should not allow our wives to be praying more than us which we see often. She should not be giving of herself freely more than us which is often the case.

God’s word says a husband’s prayers can be hindered based upon how we’re treating our wife. We are now one flesh therefore we must treat our wives as such. The word says our bodies are temples for Christ so when we treat our wives inappropriately we’re hurting ourselves first and foremost. We can’t come to Christ expecting our prayers to be answered until we first ask for forgiveness with the issue we’re having with our wife.

We all fall victim to not doing the things we use to do for our spouses before marriage. Remember the flowers, cards and presents you would give? Why not do something nice for her today? My wife has given me 3 children that means she has been pregnant for 27 months of her life. Shouldn’t I honor her for what her body has put her through? Husbands the courtship must continue in the marriage for it to be successful.

The weaker vessel should not have the heaviest load in a marriage because they are not strong enough to handle it! The word calls for the husband to be the spiritual leader of the house and we can fight the attacks on our marriage by trusting God and applying his word. A good wife will be your partner and pray with you and for the family.

We must pray to God and ask him to assist us in becoming better husbands. We have to become more observant of our wives and notice their weakest areas and assist them at all costs.

In sports it’s the coach who is first to be judged based on the success of the team. If the team is winning he is rewarded and keeps his job. A husband will be judged on the order of his house by God because he’s called to lead his family. Although Eve ate of the fruit first sin did not enter the world until Adam ate of the fruit. Men become a rock for your family.

Be Blessed,

Joseph

Take Off Your Pants!

There was a deep silence all over the house. The kids had gone to sleep a few hours earlier. I had just put my last load of clothes in the dryer. Suddenly, I heard a voice say, “Take off your pants. Come on, take them off.”

I looked around as I was certain that I recognized the voice. However, there was no one there…. I heard the voice again only this time softer and quicker,” Take them off….” The Holy Spirit was speaking to me about my role as a woman. It was clear that He was speaking metaphorically. He didn’t really want me to take off my pants, but He did want me to allow my husband to be the lead decision maker in our home. The Bible tells us that the man is called to be the head. I spent the first year of our marriage wanting to be heard, wanting to influence, and yes wanting to lead. God did not call the woman to lead the man, but the man to lead the woman.

The Bible states, “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.”

(1 Corinthians 11:3)

God’s design for marriage makes it perfectly clear that the woman is the weaker vessel of the two. This proves true when we look back to the Garden of Eden. After all who was first deceived? It wasn’t until Eve was deceived by the serpent that Adam was lead into sin by his woman. (Gen: 3 ) Women were not made to be the “strong one” in marriage. We are too easily moved. 🙂

I hear women all the time talking about how overwhelmed they are. They are exhausted physically and emotionally. Women if you haven’t already taken off your pants, God is calling you to do so now. Allowing your man to walk in his calling will provide you the time and energy that you need to focus on other things like being the helpmate you were designed to be.

Men need to feel respected more than anything else in the world. They need the opportunity to be your “earthly savior.” They thrive on being able to make things happen for you. If your man is not fitting this description it is because you have been wearing the pants way to long. “So….. Take off your pants!”

For the men who are reading today, if you are not wearing the pants in your marriage it’s time for you to put on one leg at a time. Women feel safe in taking off their pants when they know that the man that they surrender them to will love them as Christ loved the church.

Let everyone take their rightful place…Marriage is so good when you do it God’s way!

Your friend,

Cassandra