I am probably one of the few women that are not overly moved by the hoopla of Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day has been for centuries the one day set aside to show love to those in your life by the way of flowers, candy, and cards.
We find people dining out, and enjoying one another’s company all while adding to the economy’s pocket by way of billions of dollars. But what happens tomorrow? Will we still show the overwhelming signs of love in our relationships that we show today? Another great key to marriage is realizing that you can do and say all the right things today, but what you do tomorrow will be remembered the most.
Tomorrow comes every day! This means we have another opportunity to walk out God’s commandment to love one another as He has loved us. (1 John 4:11)
Today I encourage you to make a commitment to making every day Valentine’s Day in your marriage. My greatest joy today is knowing that even when tomorrow comes I will still be finding my favorite treats hidden for me to discover by surprise.
Showing your spouse this daily type of affection sets a message for your children that your love is real and appreciated. Last month my three year old daughter said, “Mommy, I’m going to get me a husband.” When I asked why she wanted to get married her response was, “So I can get some treats too!” Later on that day she told me that her husband’s name was going to be “Honey.” 🙂 This sent chills all over me knowing that at this young age that my 3 year old recognized the signs of being and feeling loved and that she wanted that too! I was overjoyed! This was what I felt was an awesome testimony to my husband that our daughter could see that he was indeed fulfilling his role in “loving me as Christ loved the church.”
Let us all show lasting love beyond today……
Remember what you do tomorrow will be what is remembered the most!
Communication in marriage is a key factor in your level of satisfaction with your marriage. Most people who are married will admit that if you don’t feel like your spouse understands you then you end up feeling alone, and or isolated. It makes things even worst if you have a spouse that refuses to talk through life’s challenges. Most of us seem to marry our opposite. This means that one of you loves to talk and the other can probably do without hashing out all the details of every situation.
In a marriage there is absolutely no way around communicating with your spouse. In order to work it out… you have to talk it out. It is imperative to practice communicating effectively with your spouse if you want your interactions to be positive. The most important step in communicating effectively with your spouse is knowing the best time to talk about certain subjects. For instance, allow your spouse to cool down from a busy day at work or from time with the kids. It is also fruitful to discuss matters when you have had time to think about the issues at hand before approaching your spouse. This will help you both in discussing the issues without having to worry about your emotions getting the best of you.
Communication is a two way process. Someone has to talk while the other one listens! It is usually easiest for all us to do the talking. 🙂 Practice listening to your spouse before commenting. Proverbs 18:2,13 sheds some light on the error of our ways when we are more concerned with being heard then listening.
2 “A fool has no delight in understanding, but in expressing his own heart.”
13 “He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.”
Keys to improving communication with your spouse:
- Have prayer before discussing difficult matters. Ask God to open your heart and mind.
- Allow the person with the issue to speak first.
- Practice listening before speaking. Don’t interrupt!
- Repeat what you think your spouse is saying and give them a chance to affirm that what you heard was what they were trying to communicate.
- Take turns speaking.
- Come to an agreement and seal the deal with a kiss!
Love your spouse enough to listen. Stay tuned for part 2 “What are your actions communicating to your spouse?”
Have you ever wondered what your spouse has to say about you in your absence? We often encounter situations that we never dreamed could actually end up making us think about ourselves, and our own relationships with the ones we love. This past weekend I crossed paths with a stranger. We will call him Doug. Doug is what I would call a seasoned married man because he has been married for almost 20 years. Being that we serve an awesome God I had an opportunity to be in the right place at the right time to hear Doug vent about his wife. It was life changing for me to hear a man’s point of view as to how they view their wives “busyness” as it relates to taking care of our homes, our children , and our “wifely responsibilities.” I was privileged to hear firsthand how one might feel just a bit slighted when the person we have committed our life to doesn’t keep their priorities in God’s perfect order. This week I will be talking in great detail about the need for us to prioritize our lives in a way that is honorable to God.
First let me start by saying that God loves marriage as shown throughout the Bible. Those that are married have been called to abide by God’s divine order. Nothing in our lives should come before God! Those that are married are called to place their marriages first in their lives after Him. Many of us find this order hard to follow when children are involved. However, let me assure you that placing your children, family, or anything else before your spouse will always lead to strife in your marriage. Hearing this man’s story blessed me deeply because it confirms how important it is to communicate your true feelings with your spouse daily. Often times we neglect to share certain aspects of how we feel about something because we feel like the one we love should already know how we feel, or that maybe the way we feel will lead to confusion in our marriage. Let us take time this week to improve our communication with our spouses and to discover how keeping our priorities in order can be a blessing to our marriages.
My heart is so happy today. I initially created this new blog because I wanted to have a platform to share my writing, but God always has a greater purpose than what we ever know. God has blessed me with the desire to write in efforts to encourage, to motivate and lift up those who may need encouragement and support in the things of God. It is no surprise that God gave me Marriage is Good because marriage has always been near and dear to my heart since the day I said, “I do.” Joseph and I feel very deeply and closely tied to those that join us in this journey of marriage! Marriage is so so good! Since the start of Marriage is Good two and a half weeks ago, we have been blessed by so many readers that have reached out via the comment section, text message, email, and even phone calls. You have encouraged and supported me with your positive thoughts and suggestions. So today I thank you for reading my thoughts as inspired by God. In just two weeks the website has received over 500 hits! To God be the glory.
Please be sure to visit the website directly at http://marriageisgood.net . You will find that we have updated the site to show valuable marriage resources such as links to various ministries as well as book titles that might be of great help to you in your marriage. We have also added a section to inform you of marriage workshops or seminars that you and your spouse can take part. As you continue to read I pray that your marriage will be blessed a 1000 times over what you can ever imagine! For those marriages that are struggling I pray that healing is in your near future and that God will restore anything and everything your marriage lacks! If you are in need of prayer for your marriage tap into the power of God and allow Marriage is Good followers to join you in prayer. We have included a new menu where you can post any special prayers for all to see. The bible tells us that when two or three gather together that our God will be in the midst! Take advantage of this power!!!!
Today I would like to thank my ever so patient husband for being the editor of my blog and the Godly head of our house. May he always know that he is truly the wind beneath my wings. Most importantly, I thank God for knowing my heart, for loving me, and for giving me an opportunity to share His word and His plan for marriage with all of you. I love you with the love of God! He that does not love does not know God for God is love!( 1 John 4:8)
Forever your friend,