Beyond the Honeymoon Phase

Most of us got married because we found the one person that we were head over heels in love with. We enjoyed their company, we adored their smile, and we felt as if our life was somehow improved just because of their presence. Many couples will enjoy this “Honeymoon Phase” for years to come or for others it can be short lived.

What do we do when the “Honeymoon Phase is over?”

It is important for couples to realize that marriage is a covenant relationship that can stand the test of time. It is normal for couples to go through periods of time in which they may not “feel” that same closeness that they felt the day they walked down the aisle. Feelings are nothing more than passing emotions. Marriage requires that partners put their emotions aside in order to honor the commitment that they made before God.

Joseph and I realized early in our relationship that it took more than love to build a happy marriage. We came to understand that marriage requires both partners to be committed to the vow. Being committed to the vow means that both parties will refrain from allowing negative thoughts to enter into their minds.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Cor.10:5 NIV)

Negative thoughts can be anything as small as one believing that their spouse no longer appreciates them to something as big as feeling unloved and no longer desired.  It is necessary for couples to recommit themselves to their spouses periodically. A good time to do this is near or on your anniversary.  During this time we suggest that you both share your vulnerabilities about your relationship and then reaffirm your love and commitment to one another.

We encourage you to make time throughout the year to talk through any conflicting thoughts or perceived notions about the status of your relationship. Remember, emotions may change, but recommitting to your marriage vows will help you stay in right relationship with God and each other.

Do everything as unto the Lord.

Colossians 3:23-25 (KJV)

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; [24] Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. [25] But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons.

There are times in marriage when you have to do things that you don’t feel like doing, or you just don’t want to do. The hardest part of doing something that you don’t want to do is preparing your mind to defeat the negative emotions that come along with the task at hand.

There are several necessary steps that one can take in efforts to defeat the negative emotions that tend to hold you captive and stop your progress.

1. Take control of your emotions by telling yourself that the request or tasks that must be completed should be done to the glory of God. Do it as if it is for Christ himself. Do it with an excellent attitude. This will please God and your spouse.

2. Learn to accept and understand that not all rewards will be received while on earth. Some of the best things are being stored up for you in heaven. Do what is required today even if you don’t see immediate benefits.

3. Realize that everything that you do on earth will be judged by God alone. If your spouse desires for something that falls in line with God’s word and his character then you must do what is right or prepare to receive consequences for all of your wrong doings.

Let our challenge be to be a blessing to our spouse today and every day. Remember your marriage is your first ministry. Give your spouse the joy of having a mate that does everything “heartily as unto the Lord.”

Cassandra

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