Lately I’ve heard more and more people admitting to the fact that they lie to their spouse about certain topics…mostly money related like miscellaneous expenses. I can only assume that many of these people have never felt the pain or feelings of betrayal that come along with being lied to or misled by someone you love.
Deception should not be a natural part of marriage. Lying to someone you love for any reason is just wrong. The marital relationship much like the parent child relationship must be built on trust.
“And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. ” (Matthew 19:5-6 )
How can two become one if they are divided by deception? Lying to someone you love will always lead to division. Division for some might mean a relationship that is plagued with resentment and animosity, while others may face the unfortunate consequences of divorce.
It is essential in marriage to have a mutual understanding that is built on respect, trust and committment. Without these three things how can any of us every reach true intimacy in our relationships? Intimacy is not just about sex. Real intimacy is only reached by two people who can have a close relationship without fear of being wronged by the other.
If your marriage is suffering from trust issues work hard to regain the trust that was once there. Those that deal in truth are a delight to the Lord! (Proverbs 12:22)
Have you ever been late on a credit card bill? If you have then you know that once your 1 day past the due date that they will start ringing your phone off the hook. When they finally catch up with you they will say something like, “Hi. We’re just calling to remind you that you forgot to pay your bill. Can I help you stay in good standing with us by taking a payment over the phone today?” Bill collectors are trained well to keep you in good standing with their companies.
We should make every effort to stay in good standing with our spouses just as we would do with a bill collector. If you promise your spouse that you’re going to do something then you should make every effort to fulfill your promise.
When we don’t meet our agreements or promises in marriage it can cause our mates to become uncertain about our priorities. It can also cause trust issues to surface when your word becomes null and void because you fail to honor your commitments.
We need to be more like God. When He tells you that he is going to do something we are always assured that His promises will come to pass. The Bible tells us that it is impossible for God to lie. (Heb. 6:18; Titus 1:2) If he says he will do it then he will do it! We never have to worry about Him canceling on us at the last moment, or about being disappointed in the way He handles something.
You can help your spouse to remain confident in your relationship by letting your yes be yes and your no be no! (James 5:12) Never make promises to your spouse to do something that you know you don’t want to do or can’t do. Your lack of effort will speak volumes to your spouse when they see that you just can’t seem to get things done on your “honey to do list.”
We all know that sometimes things happen that are totally out of our control, however do not let this be the norm in your marriage. When issues arise that prevent you from honoring your word take the time to communicate with your mate. Let them know that you really want to keep your promises and discuss any obstacles that you are having towards fulfilling your promise. Communication is the key to bridging the gap between the truth and what your spouse may perceive based on your inactivity towards achieving that desired promise.
Take authority over your life and stay in good standing with your spouse. Being in good standing with your spouse will make Satan‘s attacks a lot easier to defeat quickly and efficiently!
We are joining you in these honorable efforts. To God be the glory for all He is doing in our marriages!